What to Expect from Welcome Week 2020
Welcome Week will be running from Monday 28th September to Sunday 11th October and will→
Author: Emily Dennis
Emily Dennis
Wessex Scene Editor 21/22. Living vicariously through other people.
‘Humans Can’t Get Viruses Because They Are A Virus,’ Says Research
Research has shown the only ways humans can get sick is from bacterial infections and 360 skateboard flips.
→PM’s Reasoning for Social Limit Announced As “IDK Funny”
Johnson admits his policies will focus on ‘massive LOLS’ from now on.
→The Quarantine Guide to… Decorating Your Room Like You Don’t Already Hate It
Let your creative flair loose with some helpful tips and tricks to upgrade your space into one that looks like you’ve personally outlived the apocalypse.
→Government’s New COVID-19 Test To Use Predicted Grades
There are currently no U-turn plans in place for the new and effective system.
→Review: Kala Thai, Bournemouth
Sam Pegg and Emily Dennis review their taste of Thailand at Kala Thai, Bournemouth.
→Rich White Man with Private Doctor Rules Coronavirus as ‘Not Too Bad’
Coronavirus got you down? Try running a country and stealing public funds to make yourself feel better.
→‘Paracetamol is the Devil in Disguise,’ Says Activist Group
‘Today marks the end of unexpectedly opening a very chalky packet of pills.’
→What Spoon Are You?
Just hope you’re not a ladle.
→Sun, Sun, Go Away
Emily Dennis on why heatwaves aren’t that great after all.
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