Student ‘Shocked and Disappointed’ that They are Two Days Late to their Online Seminar
Turns out that they are just relaying what their parents said to them when they found out they were doing a Humanities degree.
→Author: Emily Dennis
Emily Dennis
Wessex Scene Editor 21/22. Living vicariously through other people.
Biden to Replace Trump’s Soda Button with Soft Serve Lever
Ever imagine the microphone you’re holding is a 99? Maybe you too could benefit from your very own Soft Serve lever!
→The Quarantine Guide to… I’ll Eat What I Want Now, Mother
‘Parents just don’t understand the importance of seasoning with those cheap supermarket packets, do they?’
→It’s a Sonnet! But Who is the Lover? Is It You?
Hilarious reveal poems? We got ’em!
→My Relationship with… Fear
Emily Dennis reflects on the development of her relationship with fear after some shocking incidents at work.
→New Online Currency Uses Gossip as Stock Market Value
Zip it, lock it, dollar straight in your pocket.
→UHS Reports High Number of Assaults on Staff
There has been a high number of reported assault cases by staff, with the real figure expected to be much larger.
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‘Still I Ride’ – Extracts from the Personal Journal of Mr Johnson
Mr Johnson finds time to practice his poetry in his latest diary entry.
→Undirected Message in Group Chat Found to Actually be Super Directed
‘Stop leaving the kitchen in a state,’ because if it’s in quote marks then you won’t think I’ve written this about you.
→The Dissolute Doctor Diaries: Tears, Peers, And New Year Fears
Is that a ghost? Is it giving medical advice? Or has someone just tried to adapt the information they’ve read in a textbook? Who knows!
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