‘We Promise We’re Not Selling the NHS,’ As Government Start Plans to Sell the NHS

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The NHS is ‘not on the table’ Boris Johnson announces, making it clear that unpopular privatisation is not an option whilst pocketing the £9.2 billion that went to private providers last year. However, and luckily, the NHS is still being funded by the clapping during the COVID-19 pandemic. Johnson also announces that clapping will thereby be the new ‘NHS currency’ replacing GDP in this sector (and this sector only).

Johnson is very assertive in his promises to not sell the NHS, as he and the rest of the Conservatives vote against Clause 17. This new clause was intended to protect the NHS and publicly funded health and care services from being used in international trade deals. Despite voting against thus, Johnson’s motto remains that the ‘NHS is off the table.’

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Johnson is still adamant that the NHS is not for sale. Jeremy Corbyn has previously shared information that the NHS was being privatised by the Conservatives, but as a typical ‘snowflake leftie,’ we cannot take his word for it. Listening to Corbyn is ‘political correctness gone mad,’ says Max from Kent, and Corbyn is ‘not a laugh like Boris.’

Donald Trump calls the prospect of buying the NHS ‘magnificent’ and believes it to be perfect in business deals. After backlash, he later said that he wasn’t interested in the NHS, even if it was on a ‘silver platter.’  Yet, the U.S. still hold all the power in terms of post-Brexit trade deals, and clearly still want a slice of British companies. Boris Johnson has claimed that he doesn’t have a ‘silver platter’ but rather a ‘silver spoon’ which he fed from growing up. He would be happy to feed Trump the NHS on a silver spoon instead, even though the NHS ‘is still definitely not on the table.’

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In the past, the Conservatives have proven their love for selling things that were once public. The bus services, water and more recently, the Royal Mail are now private. To say that the Conservatives are popular on eBay is an understatement! The NHS is reaching 10% privatisation costs, which may be high for an institution that is proud to be free. Johnson did say though that the NHS is not for sale. The welfare state is one the Nye Bevan set up to ensure that post-world war we would live in a more compassionate society. These words will in the future be sold on Trump’s website when the NHS is bought and stored in the Trump towers.

It’s cast iron however, that Johnson’s government are not going to put our NHS up for sale, despite the fact that Clause 17 was voted against so that NHS trade deals can commence. Clapping will continue to keep the NHS functioning under this new pandemic currency, which will also block the noise of Johnson and Trump making deals. Johnson will keep attempting to not sell the NHS, while using the money to give his new private jet a paint job. Yet, ‘we promise that we’re not selling the NHS’ is the stance that the Government are taking, and we all know that we can believe everything that comes out of a politician’s mouth.

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Wessex Scene News and Investigations Editor and English (BA) student.

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